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Vol. 3 No. 11, November 2011 Copyright 2011 by Wolf
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IN THIS ISSUE
1. NEW CPE--HOT OFF THE PRESS
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2. NUTRITION NEWS YOU CAN USE
3. HOW TO SAVE UP TO 16% ON CPEs
4. KEEP YOUR LIFE IN BALANCE
Can you be too motivated, too focused and too driven? Now that's a question you would not expect to hear from someone who speaks all over the world and has written extensively on the topics of motivation, focus and achievement. In this eNewsletter I would like to share a hidden aspect of motivation which I have not been the best role model in the past. Perhaps it is because I virtually started with no more than the clothes on my back and an 8th grade education when I came to the USA in 1960. Hence, used to be extremely driven and very materialistically motivated. Having fame, fortune and "stuff" has been extremely important to me. Until that fateful day in December 1997.
Superwoman, that's my beloved wife Marcela, and partner for over 43 years, and I were on our way to Paris, France. Both of us were very excited, because we were going to one of our favorite cities and because I would have the privilege to speak to about 400 managers from 19 different countries. We had an uneventful trip until we got to France when we noticed that we were in a holding pattern. After about 20 minutes the pilot calmly advised us that the indicator light for the landing gear was not working, and that they were trying to diagnose the problem. About 30 minutes later the pilot told us that there was nothing wrong with the indicator light, which meant that either the landing gears were not extended or they were not locked in. We will now, he continued, "fly over the tower so that they can make a visual inspection." After doing that twice the pilot advised us that the landing gears appeared to be extended, so he had to assume that the gears were not locked in. After what seemed like an eternal pause, the captain got on the intercom and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, the flight attendants will now provide you with emergency landing instructions. I know that you've heard these many times before, but this time it's different. I'm going to ask you to pay very close attention, because this time it's for real, because we will have to make an emergency landing at the Charles De Gaulle international airport." He also told us that the airport had been closed and that emergency equipment will be standing by. The flight attendants very calmly and professionally instructed us to get rid of all sharp objects, clear all isles, and put everything in the overhead bins. They also had us practice the emergency landing position . . . putting our head between our arms, leaning forward and bracing ourselves against the seat in front of us.
After more than two hours, the captain finally began his descent and
everyone quietly assumed the emergency landing position upon his command.
What occurred to me during those eternal two hours is that at no time
did I say to myself: "Wish I had worked harder, wish I had spoken
more often, wish I had done more publicity to get more fame, wish I
had made more money, wish I had bought more stuff." Instead I thought
about my relationships-my relationship with my wife, and what else I
could have done to love her even more; my relationship with my daughters
and how they would cope without us; my relationship with my parents
and why I had not told them how much I love them more often; my relationships
with my friends and why I had not told them more often just how much
they mean to me; and my relationship with my team members and why I
had not told them more often how much I appreciate all they do.
After the captain gave the command to assume the emergency position he landed the plane so softly that we did not even know that we had landed, right between a row of fire engines. As you can imagine the trip concluded with the loudest round of applause, cheers and joy I have ever heard on any flight.
So back to the original question--can you be too motivated, too focused and too driven? Yes--too motivated, too focused and too driven accumulating fame, fortune and stuff! No--when it comes to building and nurturing your relationships. So make time for the loved ones in your life--your spouse, your children, your parents and your friends! They are more important than your work! They are your safety blanket, your behind the scene team--the team that allows you to do what you do at work with excellence. Without them you would not be where you are today. So pick up the phone right now and tell those who do not live with you just how much you love and appreciate them. And be sure to hug your spouse and children who reside with you tonight! Give them unconditional love by telling them how proud you are to be their spouse and/or parent. Then give them a big hug and loving kisses. Be sure to do it tonight!
Now take another chunk of energy and time and spend it on the relationship with your team members. After all they are responsible for 85% of your success at work. How well have your nurtured those relationships? Don't be like some of the executives I coach and delude yourself. Instead be tough with yourself. Grab your calendar, and look at the last five working days. How much of your time did you dedicate to nurturing the relationships with your team members? I don't mean how much time you have spent telling them what to do. I'm talking about how much time have you spent talking with them . . . not at them? Talking with them about their personal concerns, their spouses, their children, their aging parents, and the many challenges they face? Being there for them with compassion, assistance and time off when they have personal challenges like a sick child, an aging parent or even worse a death in the family. Here is an important realization for you to take to heart: "When the 'yogurt' hits the fan, your team members will not do it for the company. However, they may do it for you--how well have you treated them lately?"
Be sure to keep your life in balance and don't forget to mark out time on your calendar for spending positive energy and quality time on the real important stuff in your life . . . your relationships.
Source: W. J. Rinke, Beat the Blues: How to Manage Stress and Balance Your Life, C178, 28 CPEUs, http://www.wolfrinke.com/CEFILES/cepd.html#C178.
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